When I was little, me, my parents, and my older sister went to visit the neighbors down the road from our house. When it was time to leave, a huge rainstorm had kicked in and we had to run back to our house. Whilst we were running, I yelled “Rain is a good source of CALCIUM!” My parents and sister had to stop running so they could laugh without falling over, and I zoomed to the front door while they did. IYAMLOL
My father kept a dummy Mk. II grenade in his study. One day, when my friends were hanging out and watching TV, I pulled the pin and rolled it into the living room. The mad scramble out the back door was hilarious. But, what struck me as most odd was that they obviously believed me capable of throwing a live grenade into their midst. IYAMLOL
This happened when I was around 8 or 9 years old. I had recently learned in school that tobacco is a drug. Coincidentally, the church my family went to at the time was doing a prayer that sunday to help those addicted to drugs. I, thinking I was being clever, said in a loud voice, “Mommy that’s you!”, then whispered “You know, your cigarettes.” We switched churches the next week. IYAMLOL
I was taking a nap around dinner time and my boyfriend came into the bedroom and asked me if I wanted him to make hamburgers for dinner. I asked him, “Do we have onion?” He replied, “No, I don’t think so.” Still half-asleep, I asked, “Well, can you make some?” IYAMLOL
A few years ago, my dad bought some new mayo-type sandwich spread, and my mom was reading the ingredients list aloud. Now this particular spread contained a lot of additives, mostly identified with 3- and 4-letter abbreviations. At the bottom of the list, it said “WARNING: CONTAINS EGG.” My mom read that aloud, then asked “What’s EGG?” (said one letter at a time, like an abbreviation). With a completely straight face, I replied “Egg.” IYAMLOL.